Crooked and Inverted: The Spiritual Healing of My Teeth

I'd like to share a Personal Victory with you all: Straightening My Teeth

For whatever purpose my adult teeth came in inverted and crooked after my baby teeth fell out. I never hit my teeth, had weird pacifier habit, or did anything else we could figure out....it's not even in my family....I just manifested crooked teeth. The only correlation I found was some random astrology placement I had that could indicate crooked teeth.

Go Figure 

At first, in my early adolescence, I was very insecure about them. I asked to be taken to an orthodontist, but at the end of the appointment my parents didn't have insurance and couldn't afford to straighten them there. I knew I could have really pushed on my parents to straighten them.....as I pushed on my parents for a lot of things I felt strongly about... ....but I didn't because at the orthodontics I realized  I was afraid of being "even uglier" with braces. In hindsight, I might say my crooked teeth were simply a manifestation of a layered fear - a fear of being what I deemed “ugly” which would make me what society ….and myself…deemed “unworthy.”

On the same token, I honestly feel my parents didn't push it either because it was easier to not find a way for them too. It was easier for us both to not seek a solution in our own way. Both of us allowed fear to be the driver here as opposed to choosing what we both knew was possible and necessary.

So because I wasn't willing to straighten them I chose to accept them. And my crooked teeth quickly became part of me that....I actually loved. 

I wasn't completely healed....I still shied away from smiling big at the camera. However I didn't let my teeth stop me from living my life joyously, taking risks, and putting myself out in the world as a teenager and a younger adult.

As my early 20s took shape.....I began to feel insecure of my crooked teeth again...because they felt like a mark of childhood....something that I needed to grow out of. A wound unhealed peeking out into the world again, asking for grace and love. 

 I began to picture myself being married to my Twin Flame, having a family, living my life purpose....and it just felt absurd to never address the young girl who was afraid to wear braces. I knew in my heart I deserved to align my teeth and feel completely comfortable here. And how could I take my own child to an orthodontist some day knowing I let fear win...being too chicken to finish the job for myself too!

So last summer/spring I began inquiring around orthodontists. To be blunt, my first consultation was awful! I cried in the car afterwards because the orthodontist took one look- glance- at my teeth, gave me one option for treatment, and pushed me out the door with my quote pretty quickly. I felt crushed and cried in my car... on my way to get dutchbros (Starbucks but hipper.)

My tears were both over the orthodontist’s treatment towards me and because he said my only option was metal braces. As he gave me this I realized my fear was still very there. I didn’t want to feel uglier. And as my forehead lay against my steering wheel and the dread in my stomach began to unravel, I realized I had to let go of my fear of being ugly. I had to let go of what the world taught me “beauty” meant. And I had to unconditionally love and accept myself. 

As I let the healing settle, the utter insanity that crooked teeth or metal braces made me less of a person began to dawn on me. I knew none of that was true. But now, I could say I KNOW none of that is true. 

So, I didn't let that one consultation stop me. I went to my next appointment and was COMPLETELY loved there by God/The Universe. I found out so much (maybe weird to say) about my mouth that explained what was occurring and was given 3 treatment options. This orthodontist was more expensive but so clearly worth it in value, service, and care. A worthwhile investment in myself and one I could feel in my heart I deserved. 

And so last August....completely paying my own way...no parents or insurance involved ....I began my treatment. It has brought up even more layers of personal healing around being present and really taking care of myself with intentionality. I have been wearing clear aligners (the clearest in the business ) and rubber bands since then and my teeth have straightened so much already! 

Confronting this once and for all is downright relieving. 

I am very grateful to my spiritual healing path and all the inner work done to bring me back to a reality of really valuing myself enough to look at this part of my life…to see where I was ignoring a wounded child…and really bring love back to this space. 

For me this is the fruit of  sustainable and permanent healing in this space. .. Thank you for reading.