Healing Inferiority

A persistent upset I have experienced in my journey is shades of inferiority or not feeling enough. This has come up in regards to my Twin Flame, as I pursue my Life Purpose, my competency in my spiritual work, my body, and really anywhere ego can worm its ugly voice in. 

I may know in my head - my logic - that this doesn’t make sense. This feeling of “not enough” isn’t aligned with God. But my heart was still leaking its energy here. 

We know from Jeff and Shaleia’s teachings that you and I are absolutely enough. God sees us as divine and perfectly, and completely lovable and worthy of all the gems in the universe. Therefore, this feeling of “inferior” or “not enough” is entirely separate from God. It is me acting in a world God did not create. That is why it is heavy and ugly and overall icky. 

As I sat with myself recently, my inner conversation looked something like this: 

 “Why do you feel inferior?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Well you know God doesn’t see you that way. That you are not different in that you are any less or more than others.”
“I do….”

And then I recalled times in my life where I, frankly, experienced feelings of superiority. Feeling I was better than another for a choice I was making or something unique I could.
And now, underneath that superiority or pride, is a deep unsettling fear – and unsettled insecurity “Maybe - or what if - I am not loved.” 

So I asked ….

“Why would you worry about not being loved or worthy of love….when you know God loves all his children?” 

“Well I guess I felt something was different or wrong with me somehow.” 

In A Course In Miracles, the idea that you are “different,” “better,”  or “less” than another is called specialness. Specialness - that you are different from your brothers and sisters in God - is separation. No one is special in love.

So I asked this part of me that was feeling “different” what she needed to feel loved. And it turned out she just needed to feel “the same.”

This overall feeling of “not enough” and “inferiority” was rooted in just needing to fully love myself so I knew I was equal , the same, loved by God. And that I loved all of myself– just the same. I had to let go of the belief that I was ‘special.’ 

When I did this I could acknowledge - I am perfectly enough now.