Mirror Work and Book Characters
One thing I've discovered through years of practicing the Mirror Exercise on the Twin Flame Journey is how my relationship with media and entertainment flows and shifts with my healing.
I love reading books, listening to music, and watching period pieces and light-hearted TV. ESPECIALLY Twin Flame stuff. Actually, preferably Twin Flame stuff. I find that my tastes and experiences evolve with my healing, and the stories I consume can often contribute to my healing as well.
Sometimes I come across a character or choice in media that I just CANNOT STAND. Or for some reason, it just feels icky. Now, sometimes they are supposed to be the "villain," so I'm not supposed to like them. But there's a difference between not liking something and being triggered or upset by it. The latter is God trying to show you something within you too.
Back in November, one of my now favorite book characters was just an absolute DRAG to read about in a 900-page gosh-damned story. She was self-loathing, b*tchy when someone tried to help, pushed away people who loved her, and stubborn... so stubborn that she would not believe she was worth anything or that anything could get better for her. It was painful for me to read.
Still, I soldiered through the book with a slight frown on my face most of the time, and the occasional eye roll and huff of annoyance. You see, I'm a binge reader, and I was already four books deep into the series, so I kept going.
About halfway through, I had to pause because the heaviness became too much for me. My internal warning flags started going off, telling me that I needed to do some inner work! I realized I felt SO heavy and triggered because this character was showing me what I felt was the "worst" version of myself. She was feeling so many emotions I had felt:
She felt unworthy and deeply paralyzed by her own perception of self-failure.
She was defensive and angry, not wanting to let anyone in where it hurt too much.
She hated herself for her perceived shortcomings and felt like she couldn't fully embrace joy in life.
She would just numb herself instead of dealing with her pain.
Allow me to...
I felt unworthy and deeply paralyzed by my own perception of self-failure.
I was defensive and angry, not wanting to let anyone in where it hurt too much.
I hated myself for my perceived shortcomings and felt like I couldn't fully embrace joy in my life.
I would just numb myself instead of dealing with my pain.
The same inner voice (ego) that critiqued that character so harshly was the same voice critiquing myself for having those experiences too.
What another layer of self-awareness to discover. Just like any upset, I deeply needed love here. And upon loving myself, my whole experience with that character and that book changed as well. The story transformed for me into one of deep healing and compassion.
EVERYTHING is a mirror. Our experience is a result of our vibration and beliefs within. It can be very easy (especially in a world/media machine that wants to polarize and separate people) to point fingers, scoff, and criticize. To see someone as deeply in separation and resent the separation agenda they push... all without confronting the source of our resentment. A.k.a Spiritual Arrogance.
But at the core, if it upsets you - even seemingly just a smidge - you must humble yourself and heal what is being shown to you. Whether it's a book character, politician, celebrity, or your annoying neighbor... if it bugs you, you've got to heal it, and there is most likely a GEM of deep love and self-awareness awaiting you.
Now, this book character is one of my most treasured stories because I can relate to her healing journey.
Instead of being presented with the worst version of myself... I am presented with the version of myself who is calling for and deserving of compassion, forgiveness, and unconditional love.
I can and should write a whole other post about those specific layers of healing and what I have learned... so watch out for it. 😉
